This journey called life, do you know the way?

Do you find that more frequently you are feeling unfulfilled and dissatisfied with your life? Do you keep thinking there must be more to it than this? And is that feeling made worse by the fact that those around you already think you have a great life? Do you make excuses and say it will change…….some time?

We can own a business, climb the career ladder, plan a holiday, debate which car to purchase, jump through planning hoops to build an extension or research the best school for our children, yet how many of us let our physical, emotional and spiritual health go unnoticed whilst we are on the conveyor belt of life?

We may fill our lives by working long hours, put up with an unhappy relationship, suffer with ongoing health problems just so we keep busy enough to avoid thinking about the direction we are going in.

Perhaps a mid life crisis or the seven year itch is a realisation of all this. People suddenly stop, think and realise that life is passing them by and they are not enjoying the journey! They get off the conveyor belt which their lives have become and start to think about how they want their life to be.

So isn’t it about time you gave yourself a little time for considering your future, a little time for reflection and just forget the computer games, chilling out in front of the TV with a glass of wine, taking work home for the evening and weekend and the constant rushing about? Perhaps it’s time to make a change or two? Identifying what you want out of life can start out like hard work or be phenomenally exciting depending on your starting point but it can turn into the time of your life – funny that!

Talk to Mpowerme about achieving quality living and becoming happier and more fulfilled. Director Janet Ashfield’s philosophy is to work alongside you to achieve a balanced approach looking at all aspects of your life to ensure motivation, direction, harmony and balance leading to improving your quality of life.

Janet truly believes that everyone has the ability to find out who they really are and what they are truly passionate about. It can be done, the secret is knowing how – contact Mpowerme to find out how.

Janet Ashfield

I am a member of the Hampshire Ambassadors, a group of people who during the course of their business and private lives support and promote business and economy in Hampshire.

One of their recent events involved a visit to the Winchester City Mill which is located on a site that has been used for milling flour since Saxon times.

We enjoyed a presentation given by the staff, who obviously enjoyed their work, and who were able to tell us all about the first recording of the mill in the Doomsday survey of 1086.  We also learnt how, following her wedding in Winchester Cathedral, Mary Tudor gifted the mill to the city in 1154.  After a rebuild in 1744 the Mill remained in use until the turn of the last century. More recently the mill has been restored to full working order and after the presentation we had the opportunity to see the watermill and its machinery in all its glory.

On a personal note it was great visit and it was lovely to meet staff so passionate about their work.  The downside for me was that I had just started a wheat and dairy free diet that was, until that point, going really well.  However I found myself being tempted to nibble on a range of wheat products (made with flour milled at Winchester) and local cheeses – all of which were very nice indeed.
The mill is a great place to visit with the family and both young and old can enjoy watching the mill in operation. 

For more information about this unique venue visit http://www.nationaltrust.org.uk/main/w-vh/w-visits/w-findaplace/w-winchestercitymill/

For more information on Hampshire Ambassadors please visit:
http://www3.hants.gov.uk/business/advice-information/hampshire-ambassadors.htm

Photo L-R - Hannah Payne from Hampshire County Council, Anne Aldridge Winchester City Mill Manager, Peter Coates-Buglear of NewNet plc, Jennifer Laing of Cresson Creative, Glenda Willis Assistant Manager of Winchester City Mill, Janet Ashfield from mpowerme and Heather Coates-Buglear of NewNet plc.

For all of you interested in attending the Positively Coffee events please note that due to unforeseen circumstances the venue has moved to:

Fair Oak Training Centre, Unit 17 Vicarage Farm Business Park, Winchester Road, Fair Oak, Hampshire SO50 7HD.

The Business park is just opposite the Fox and Hounds on the Winchester Road. The Training Centre is situated on the left hand side of the Business Park. Free parking is available.

If you would like to attend one of these events please call Mpowerme on 023 80618388.

Business Support

Helen Featherstone - Freelance and Virtual PA
Using experience gained over more than 20 years as a director level PA, Helen provides a professional bespoke PA service that is precisely tuned to your business needs.

I to Eye Presentations Ltd
Website and PowerPoint design specialists.

Charities Supported

Dogs Trust
Founded in 1891, Dogs Trust, formerly known as the NCDL, has always campaigned on dog-welfare related issues to ensure a safe and happy future for our four-legged friends.

Cancer Research UK
Since it started in 1994, Race for Life has grown to become the UK’s biggest women-only fundraising event. All the money raised by our participants helps fund the crucial work of Cancer Research UK – the world’s leading independent organisation dedicated to cancer research.

Naomi House Children’s Hospice
Naomi House children’s hospice opened in June 1997 to provide respite care, terminal care and bereavement support for children and families from across the south of England. The Wessex Children’s Hospice Trust was originally set up in 1992 and by 1997 over £5 million had been raised to build and open Naomi House. It now costs over £2 million a year to provide and extend the service, and with no statutory funding available, they are dependent upon voluntary and charitable support. They provide care and support through good days, difficult days and last days to children, young people and their families from the counties of Berkshire, Dorset, Hampshire, the Isle of Wight, Surrey, West Sussex and Wiltshire.

Recommended sites

Re-Vitalise Tai Chi and Yoga
For relaxing weekend breaks and retreats learning these fascinating arts. Full board weekend and longer retreats throughout the UK. Suitable for both beginners and experienced practitioners.

Homegym-hire
The South’s Premier home fitness equipment hire company.  Quality exercise equipment delivered to your door with hires from one calendar month.  Rowers, Treadmills, Steppers, Crosstrainers, Vibration plates, Bikes and more.  Phone now and change your life, starting today…Â

People are always asking me to recommend books for them to read. As an avid reader I could name quite a few that I love and find valuable, that I get inspiration from, that are thought provoking, spiritual, motivational, and more. However we are all looking to have our own needs met when we read a book so in the same way. I would not choose your food for you, or choose your friends for you I can help support you to make choices. The following lists are based on what I get enjoyment and value from.

If you don’t wish to buy these books straight away visit your local library and look under Health or Psychology and see what you find, explore for yourself. You can ask your library to order books for you too, and then when you find the books that bring something to you - you can then buy them and treasure them.

Bereavement

The Year of Magical Thinking
Joan Didion, Harper Perennial 2006

“Life changes fast. Life changes in an instant. You sit down to dinner and life as you know it ends.”

A personal experience of the loss and grief of death, written with honesty, beautiful yet devastating, a passionate account that does not hold anything back. A must read for anyone who is suffering with the loss of a loved one.

Fiction

The Alchemist Paulo Coelho
The Pilgrimage 1987, The Alchemist 1987, Brida 1990, The Valkyries 1992, Maktub 1994, By The River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept 1994, The Fifth Mountain 1996, Love Letters from a Prophet 1997, The Manual of the Warrior of Light 1997, Veronika Decides to Die 1998, The Devil and Miss Prym 2000, Eleven Minutes - bestselling fiction title worldwide in 2003, The Zahir 2005, Like the Flowing River 2006, The Witch of Portobello 2006.

There is no way to summarise all that is Paulo Coelho, but do take the time to go to his web site www.paulocoelho.com to get a understanding of who he is and his achievements.
“If someone isn’t what others want them to be the other becomes angry. Everyone seems to have a clear idea of how other people should lead their lives, but none about his or her own”.
Search on Amazon books for Paulo Coelho

Human Behaviour

The Tipping Point
Malcolm Gladwell 2002

Malcolm Gladwell tells us that when something major happens it’s usually because its been building for a while and that it just needs the addition of a magic ’something’ to shift the balance in order for the phenomena to take place. It contains some excellent examples of this ‘tipping point’ being reached, such as the huge drop in serious crimes in New York in the mid 1990s.

The book is well researched with an excellent reference section, and has some great insights into human behaviour and communication on both an individual and social level.

Meditation

Meditations: Creative Visualisation and Meditation Exercises to Enrich Your Life
Shakti Gawain 1997

I bought this book in 1997 and still love it today. Whether you can dream, whether you can visualise or not, this is a great starting point to learning and person development.
Shakti Gawain has other great books, DVD’s etc listed on Amazon take a look and see what suits you best.

Money

What Not to Spend
Alvin Hall 2004

We live in a materialistic world, with credit almost continuously on offer. It is hard to not weaken and give in and many people already have significant financial issues. Whether you have debt problems, want to know about saving, pensions, or stocks and shares check out Alvin Halls other books.

Positive Thinking

Chicken Soup for the Soul
Jack Cranfield & Mark Victor Hansen 2000

Two of America’s best-loved inspirational speakers share the very best of their collected stories and favorite tales that have touched the hearts of people everywhere.
Try Amazon for other Cranfield/Victor titles.

 

Cosmic Ordering - How to Make your Dreams Come True Jonathan Cainer 2006

A great introductory book to cosmic ordering, everything you want is out there if only you are willing to believe it!

 

 

How to Stop Worrying and Start Living
Dale Carnegie 2004

Dale Carnegie has written several books. They are a very valuable support in self development and help with leaving old habits behind.
If you search on Amazon Books for Dale Carnegie, you will find a wealth of other titles to support your development.

 

The Law of Attraction
Esther and Jerry Hick 2006

I have read several of the books by Esther and Jerry and in particular like The Law of Attraction. It is another of my books with pages marked and it is often brought out to re read to remind myself of the wonderful power of positive thinking.

 

The Power of Positive Thinking
Norman Vincent Peale 1953

First published in 1953 and still selling well. Vincent Peale gives practical, direct-action examples of spiritual techniques to overcome defeat and win confidence, success and joy.

 

The Secret
Rhonda Byrne 2006

The Secret explains, with simplicity, the law that is governing our lives, and offers the knowledge of how to create - intentionally and effortlessly - a joyful life. This is the secret to everything - the secret to unlimited happiness, love, health, and prosperity. Also available on DVD.

 

The Spirituality of Success Getting Rich with Integrity
Vincent M. Roazzi 2002

Vince Roazzi shares his life with the reader and tells the story of his hard won lessons, the wrong choices he made and how he was able to turn his life around. A great inspirational read, which proves there is more to success than meets the eye.

 

Think and Grow Rich
Napoleon Hill (revised and expanded by Arthur R Pell) 2004

Originally published in 1937. Napoleon Hill developed a simple 13 step formula to help you identify your goals, master the secrets of true and lasting success, obtain what you want in life, join the ranks of the super successful.

This book is easy to understand and gets you thinking about positive thinking in relation to greater wealth, with lots of examples of men and women and their stories of success.

 

Think Yourself Rich
How to develop the Mind of a Millionaire, Sharon Maxwell Magnus, Vermillion 2003

Whether you are entrepreneurial and/or have hankerings to be a millionaire this will be a good read for you. Understand the skills, values and mindsets needed. Are you going to put work before family and friends, will you work on holiday? Based on research this is an interesting read that really will help you to understand how your personality fits with those that are making it rich and how your upbringing, schooling and childhood is irrelevant, it is all about attitude.

Psychology

An Idea In Practice - Using the Human Givens Approach
Joe Griffin and Ivan Tyrrell 2007

This book is a celebration of the astonishing, beneficial inroads the human givens approach has made into education, mental health and social services. Like a powerful lens it brings into focus rich insights about what is missing from society today and how, often against great odds, thousands of talented people from diverse backgrounds are countering this. Full of moving stories, humour and practical information.

 

The Highly Sensitive Person
How to Thrive When The World Overwhelms You, Elaine N Aaron 1999

When research psychologist and psychotherapist Elaine Aron published The Highly Sensitive Person: How to Thrive When the World Overwhelms You, many people felt a jolt of recognition. Aaron’s book was a godsend for those who’d been told since childhood how high-strung, nervous, timid, overly sensitive, or fearful they were. Here was a mental health professional describing high sensitivity as a normal state shared by 15 to 20 percent of the population and framing it positively rather than as a flaw.

According to Aaron, highly sensitive people, or HSPs, typically share a number of characteristics: They’re highly aroused by new or prolonged stimulation; strongly reactive to external stimuli such as noise and light; intolerant of pain, hunger, thirst, caffeine, and medication; susceptible to stress-related and psychosomatic illnesses; and deeply affected by other people’s moods and emotions. They are also highly intuitive; able to concentrate deeply (but do best without distractions); right-brained, and less linear than non-HSPs; highly conscientious; especially good at tasks requiring vigilance, accuracy, and speed; and excellent at spotting and avoiding errors.

These books are a great read, if you are not a HSP you will know someone who is and these books will give you a far greater understanding of their needs and if you are a HSP, they can transform you life by giving understanding to how you feel on a daily basis.

 

The Highly Sensitive Persons Survival Guide
Ted Zeff PhD 2004

Highly sensitive people (HSPs), who make up some 20 per cent of the population, are individuals who both enjoy and suffer from a finely tuned neurological system. This condition can be a gift, but until HSPs master their sensitive nervous systems, they operate in a constant state of over stimulation.

 

Making Work Work for the Highly Sensitive Person
Barrie Jaeger PhD 2005

“A perceptive guide.” - “Publishers Weekly”. This book builds on Elaine Aaron’s groundbreaking bestseller “The Highly Sensitive Person” to offer you proven strategies that help you make your extreme sensitivity an asset in the workplace. You will get guidance on stress management, boundary setting, dealing with abusive co-workers, and more, and you will learn how to experience work in a way that is emotionally gratifying as well as financially rewarding.

Self Development

Awaken the Giant Within
Anthony Robbins 1992

Anthony Robbins is an American personal transformation guru. Awaken The Giant stimulates the reader’s imagination by the questions it poses, the possibilities it creates in your mind, yet the book is careful to provide the practical steps and details for goal-achievement. It is one of the longer books in the self development range.

 

The Inner Game of Tennis
W.Timothy Gallwey 1986

Timothy Gallwey’s book is an inspirational read helping people to understand how human beings interfere with their own ability to achieve and learn. Pick the book title that most relates to your work or hobby and see how he can show you practical ways to overcome the mental obstacles that prevent us performing to the best of our abilities.

Gallwey has also written about The Inner Game of Skiiing and The Inner Game of Golf - see Amazon for details.

 

The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari
Robin Sharma 2004

A great book that is a must read for anyone under pressure in their career or those that want to read about how a life can be transformed. Another good name to search for on Amazon.

 

Seven Habits of Highly Effective People
Stephen Covey 2004

I quote Stephen Covey in my work all the time, he is insightful, compassionate writer and truly believes in personal development. All of his work is enlightening and The Seven Habits is a book you will refer to and re read constantly because of the value within it, hence him having sold over 15 million copies!

Relationships

How to Mend Your Broken Heart
Paul McKenna and Hugh Willbourn 2003

A must read in particular for anyone who is having trouble moving on from a broken relationship. This book is written with warmth and compassion to support the hurt you will be feeling.

 

I need your Love
Byron Katie & Michael Katz 2005

A wonderful book that is full of different examples of how people can think and react to situations, a must read for everyone. If you have not behaved in this way or had these thoughts about relationships you will know someone who has!

“We all do emotional gymnastics to be seen as wonderful or funny - just to get what we already have. And because we’re doing the gymnastics, we don’t see that we already have it”.

The Seven Best Things that (Happy) Couples Do
John and Linda Friel 2002

John and Linda have written a number of books on relationships (all ages), just search on Amazon Books to see the list of titles.

 

Spiritual

Barefoot Doctor’s Handbook for Heroes: Spiritual Guide to Fame and Fortune
Stephen Russell 1999

The Barefoot Doctor demystifies the secret Taoist path to wealth, renown and fulfilment but in a fun way which we can all relate to day to day life.

If you search on Amazon Books for the Barefoot doctor you will see a whole range of useful titles, just choose what appeals to you most!

 

Deepak Chopra

If you search on Amazon Books for Deepak Chopra, you will find a wealth of useful titles, just choose what appeals to you most! Deepak Chopra is a writer, lecturer and physician and has a wealth of knowledge to share, covering love, relationship, health, emotional freedom, enlightenment and silence.

Positively Coffee was launched in early 2008.  After experimenting with venues and meeting times Positively Coffee is now moving to a more regular time of the 2nd Monday of every month at 7pm for a 7.30 start, ending at 9.30 with coffee available till 10pm.

What is Positively Coffee?

People can sometimes experience difficulty in finding a place where they can consider their own needs, consider changes they might want to make in life, or just to understand themselves better. 

Positively Coffee is a  place where people can meet like minded people who are looking to move forward positively with life.

Positively Coffee will meet every month. Come and join us every month, or just when you have the time, and find a place where you can:

• put yourself first and consider your needs
• understand yourself better
• listen to inspirational talks that will give you tools and options to consider in your life
• get motivation and inspiration to support your development
• meet like minded people, in a social and friendly place, who are looking to move forward positively with life

This is a great sharing environment so do come along even if you do not think the topic is an issue for you, perhaps you can share how you manage your life and give us some inspiration and ideas..

But don’t just take our word for it, here is just some of the feedback we have received …

Here is our meeting programme:

14th July 2008 - Being Positively Single - Living the single life positively, why it is OK, the benefits, the choices and the times of feeling lonely, when the invitation is for 2!

Book for Positively Coffee

11th August 2008 - Improving your Confidence at Work - Why does the work setting make you feel uncomfortable or unsure and how can we improve our confidence?

Book for Positively Coffee

8th September 2008 - Improving Confidence in your personal life - Making friends, socialising, new situations, what are you unsure with? Identifying your issues and finding some solutions for a confident future.

Book for Positively Coffee

13th  October 2008 - Career change - Looking to change your career or even starting a career?  Where do you start? What are the options? What steps do I need to take?

Book for Positively Coffee

10th November 2008 - Managing Stress and Pressure - Feeling overloaded, work, family, children, financial worries, health issues, lack of energy and motivation  …… Understanding the symptoms, understanding you and what can help.

Book for Positively Coffee

8th December 2008 - Managing Christmas and New year! - There are a whole range of emotions that come with Christmas and New year for some it is the best time of the year and for others it is just a period to get through…..come along and share your thoughts, feelings, joys or frustrations and get some tips to help you through this festive time.

Book for Positively Coffee

12th January 2009 - Moving on from Negative Self Talk - Why do we criticise ourselves for what we don’t do but rarely praise ourselves for what we do do? How can we move on from this habit?  How can we talk positively to ourselves?

Book for Positively Coffee

9th February 2009 - Finding your ideal life, developing priorities for living! - How to identify your ideal life.  Planning the journey.  Keeping positive, focusing and congratulating yourself!
9th  March 2009 - Moving on from Negative Self Talk - Why do we criticise ourselves for what we don’t do but rarely praise ourselves for what we do do? How can we move on from this habit?  How can we talk positively to ourselves?

Book for Positively Coffee

9th March 2009 - Moving on from Negative Self Talk - Why do we criticise ourselves for what we don’t do but rarely praise ourselves for what we do do? How can we move on from this habit?  How can we talk positively to ourselves?

Book for Positively Coffee

13th  April 2009 - Emotional well being -  do you feel emotional at times and feel unable to control the flow of emotions, or have you turned your emotions off completely? Where should the balance be?  Should we be tuning to our emotions as an intuitive guide in life?

Book for Positively Coffee

11th  May 2009 -Your life script -  Time to have a review of where your life is at, where it is going and how happy, inspired and motivated you are with the script so far. Does your script need a bit if a rewrite?

Book for Positively Coffee

8th June 2009 - You don’t know what you don’t know…simply because you don’t know it!  How do you know what you need to know to have a better life?

Book for Positively Coffee

There will be limited places available so to ensure you have a place please email or phone to confirm your attendance (janet@mpowerme.co.uk or phone 02380 618 388)  You can either book or pay on line (by Paypal) or pay £15 on the night in cash.

We will be meeting at : Fair Oak Training Centre, Unit 17 Vicarage Farm Business Park, Winchester Road, Fair Oak, Hampshire SO50 7HD

The Business park is just opposite the Fox and Hounds on the Winchester Road. The Training Centre is situated on the left hand side of the Business Park. Free parking is available.

Free refreshments will be available.

Please note these events are not business networking events, they are social events for people wishing to personally develop and meet positive people. People will bring their own personal and work/business experiences to the groups to share as part of the topics covered.

If you have any questions please do contact me janet@mpowerme.co.uk or phone 02380 618 388.
Too busy to have time for you? Be good to yourself, take time out with Positively Coffee.

An article written for people working in tenant participation and community development.

I started my career as a support worker in housing. As my career developed I went into tenant participation, though to working in community safety in a regeneration project and then a community safety manager and then finally a Drugs Action Team manager before setting up Mpowerme to focus on empowering people.

Whether you working in a Local Authority, a Housing Association, or in the voluntary sector tenant Participation, involving clients and community development has been a developing agenda. Some organisations seem, on the outside, to embrace it whilst others remain lagging behind. But just what is behind those words in the newsletter, on the web site, in the leaflet the organisation may have developed? Is the full organisation committed to involving individuals and communities or just a few or perhaps just you?

How many people work for organisations where some colleagues have the belief that the clients/residents should be grateful for what they get? After all, why would we want to give them choices? As policies develop clients are given more choices, asked for more input, asked to participate, and asked to have an opinion. On the other hand there are staff who are struggling to get these clients involved. Do you feel alienated by this process do you truly have the backing of the organisation and the staff you work with? Do you feel lonely in your job?

Whichever camp you sit in and what ever level you work at you have chosen a pressurised career. You may be working with few other staff, within a strict budget, needing to work across all departments and encouraging those departments to involve clients too.

Then there are the clients. Do they believe they are being given choices? Have they got the time, will, motivation or aspiration to become involved? Does the fact that only a few others have volunteered mean that all the work falls on a small number of people?

This may sound negative but the positive aspect is that most people are in their jobs because they are passionate about involvement.

So as a passionate person how can you manage your work, the unsocial hours with evening meetings and weekend events, the sheer number of meetings, minutes, agendas, developing events, policies and the issues discussed above.

Some ideas that may help are:

• be clear what you want from your job with regard to:
  • your personal development, be very clear on what you require for your career, your CV, you’re on a journey this is not your last job, look to the future, plan and be focussed
  • what is needed to enable you to enjoy your day to day work
  • the organisation you work for
  • the clients
• Take care of yourself! Giving up your personal life, being constantly tired and drained and trying to get through an ever increasing to-do list and an overflowing in tray, is no way to live, it is also not a good way to do a good job.�
  Be the best person you can be to yourself first and everyone else second. When you are the best you can be, you are also the best you can be for your job too. Don’t be fooled by believing that working in a stressed and pressured manner has any value, it will just result in damaging you psychologically, emotionally and physically.
• Know your priorities. Be clear on what you can actually achieve in your job. Once you have a plan it is achievable. Write a list of what is actually achievable and stick to it - forget the rest.
• No job is for life, if you were not there someone else would be doing the job. Stop taking it so personally. Know what you want in your life as a whole - work/career AND personal life and manage your life. You are a role model for your clients - show them someone who has a balanced life.
• Know where your career is going, enjoy your whole life and remember these key points:
  • you are the engineer of your life
  • you really do make all the decisions, even the excuses
  • make sure you are living a life not an excuse

Find out how we can support you and the communities you work with by contacting Janet on
023 8061 8388 today.

Janet  attended the Solent University Healthy Business event on 28th May.

This event encourages businesses attending to consider both their own health and the health of their workforce. The excellent key note speakers were Iwan Thomas (Iwan is one of the finest 400m runners that Britain has seen, a former European and Commonwealth Champion as well as a World Cup winner and current British Record Holder) and Kiki Maurey (of Kiki Maurey Consultancy Limited). 

Janet provided a workshop on stress management, which focused on:

• Being able to recognise the signs and symptoms of stress
• Being more aware of the detrimental effects of stress
• Learning how to be more proactive in managing stress in self and others

 

The photo is of: (from left to right) Iwan Thomas, Janet Ashfield, Kiki Maurey and Chris Dunn (Health & Fitness consultant at Solent University)

I have to admit that until I was nearly 23 I didn’t want (or even like) children, then one day in my early 20’s I turned into a desperate broody woman overnight, one who needed to have a baby NOW. How did that happen? No one was more surprised than I was. At 23 I gave birth to my son John but broody had not disappeared and 15 months later Rachel was born, I was content.

I hadn’t had a great education or career and being a mum was the most satisfying thing in the world to me in my 20’s. Sadly my marriage did not last and after the divorce, in my 30 ’s with the children at school, I set about studying for a degree and then re-entered the work force, climbing the career ladder whilst studying at the same time - at 40 I started my own business. Why do I tell you all this? because at 43 I became a granny - wonderful!

However despite having studied psychology, counselling, life coaching and NLP, having lived, made mistakes, learnt and grown, I often find myself thinking ‘if only I knew in my 20’s what I know now’!
I am not saying I was a bad parent, but as you might expect life experiences and studying means that I feel I could do it so much better now! Time gives us the opportunity to consider how our own parents brought us up and to make choices about what we would copy and what we would change.

So just what would I do differently? here are some top tips I learnt along the way:

1. Parenthood does not have to mean losing your individual identity. Don’t allow yourself to become ‘Lucy or Jacks ’ mum or dad, you have a name use it. It is very easy to lose yourself in parenthood, it does not last for ever and the time flies by and you wonder where it went.

2. Parenthood does not mean that you are now the sole carer for your child for the next 18 years. All children at all ages need experiences from a variety of people and situations (which of course are all vetted by you first). Give them the chance to grow and socialise, you cannot provide it all.

3. Allow your child to be an individual - not what you need them to be or what you were not. Your child is an individual let them be who they are, watch them develop as an individual and celebrate!

4. The best thing you can do for your child is be the best person you can be. If you are a tired or ratty parent, one who needs time out, one who would sooner be at work or not at work, one who is resenting their partner, one who never has enough time, one who cannot get to the gym, one who is worried about the numerous pressures of being a parent, find a resolution, there really are answers to the issues you have, sometimes you just can ’t see them, so phone a friend, ask around, get a different perspective.

5. At any one moment in time you can only be the best you are at that moment, there is no future, there is no past, just that moment. Wow! Quite a thought isn’t it? Take a minute to think how much time you spend worrying and fretting about the past or predicating the future and not living in the moment? Life can pass you by without you even noticing if you are always in a different place. Enjoy every present moment of your child growing and developing, you only get one chance.

I hope the above helps OR I hope the above gives you food for thought.

Janet Ashfield (BSc Hons) runs her own successful Life Coaching and Training company Mpowerme.
www.mpowerme.co.uk

Come and join us for a truly inspirational day out and give your whole life a makeover
at The All Woman Show on the 11th May 2008.

Mpowerme is 1 of  75 exhibitors from the worlds of Fashion, Health & Beauty, Fitness & Wellbeing, Home & Travel, etc you will be spoilt for choice.

Come and say hello to us at the Mpowerme stand.

Discover the Secrets of feeling and looking good!

 Visit the All Women Show website