On the 13th of July I and 9999 other women could be found running 5k round Southampton Common for the Cancer Research Race for Life Event, hence the very red faced photo of me (and my friend Sheena).

I got round in about 32 minutes but bear in mind that there are 9999 other women on the route so it was not exactly a clear route, which was just as well as it gave me a chance for a breather, as I appear to be as unfit as I was last year!

Thank you, thank you; to those that have sponsored me, together we raised £265!

I spent this Saturday with my daughter and her partner driving tanks in Winchester! Not quite what you would expect in this cathedral town. It was an absolute joy to go out for the day and to find that the organisation of the day, the staff and facilities were faultless and the knock-on effect was that everyone there had a great time, I can’t remember the last time I was around so many smiling faces, everyone was having such a great time driving the Chieftain, the Abbot SPG (self-propelled field gun), the APC (Armoured Personnel Carrier) and riding the Quad Bikes (although some of us spent more time in the field than on the track!). So I thought I would pass on the details of Juniper Leisure and encourage you all to give it a go!

www.juniper-leisure.com/tank_driving/index.htm

Life coaching is a 21st century phenomenon. In the United States where it all started many practitioners are self made multimillionaires. So what does a life coach do and how can they make a difference?

Life as we know has its up’s and down’s and in this increasingly stressful world even the strongest amongst us often find it hard to cope. Looking back on our own lives most of us retrospectively would have done many things differently. My philosophy is that we all give it our best shot at the time. Regrets are pointless. After all we can do nothing about the past, but we can certainly do something positive about the present and the future.

This week I met Janet Ashfield. She runs MPOWERME, her own successful life coaching company in Eastleigh, and channels her own life experience into the business of helping others. To her it’s a vocation. “I don’t want to make millions”, she told me, “I want to make a difference”.

Janet is a surprisingly complex, charismatic and dedicated woman. Her parents, she feels, actively discouraged ambition and therefore by the time she became a Mum at 22 years of age, she had next to no academic qualifications. After the birth of her son John, and fifteen months later her daughter Rachel however, she was enjoying what she describes as one of the most satisfying times in her life.

Almost immediately after the birth of Rachel, Janet began studying for a degree in Psychology and Sociology. Now, at 44 Janet has a BSc and a grandchild!

She believes that the best thing you can do for your child is to be the best person you can be. “Parenthood”, says Janet, “doesn’t have to mean losing your identity, as inevitably, a content parent means a content child”.

So what’s it all about?

According to Janet “Life coaching” is the process of getting people to look at their whole life. It’s not just work, it’s not just their personal life or whether or not they’ve got a partner. It’s really about taking an overall view. You can liken it to having an extension built on your house. You could take hours over getting the plans right, take great care employing the right trades people, make sure that local building regulations are in place, and pay close attention to decoration, fixtures and fittings. So much effort for many of the material things in life, but often paying very little attention to getting your own life right.

I am a member of the Hampshire Ambassadors, a group of people who during the course of their business and private lives support and promote business and economy in Hampshire.

One of their recent events involved a visit to the Winchester City Mill which is located on a site that has been used for milling flour since Saxon times.

We enjoyed a presentation given by the staff, who obviously enjoyed their work, and who were able to tell us all about the first recording of the mill in the Doomsday survey of 1086.  We also learnt how, following her wedding in Winchester Cathedral, Mary Tudor gifted the mill to the city in 1154.  After a rebuild in 1744 the Mill remained in use until the turn of the last century. More recently the mill has been restored to full working order and after the presentation we had the opportunity to see the watermill and its machinery in all its glory.

On a personal note it was great visit and it was lovely to meet staff so passionate about their work.  The downside for me was that I had just started a wheat and dairy free diet that was, until that point, going really well.  However I found myself being tempted to nibble on a range of wheat products (made with flour milled at Winchester) and local cheeses – all of which were very nice indeed.
The mill is a great place to visit with the family and both young and old can enjoy watching the mill in operation. 

For more information about this unique venue visit http://www.nationaltrust.org.uk/main/w-vh/w-visits/w-findaplace/w-winchestercitymill/

For more information on Hampshire Ambassadors please visit:
http://www3.hants.gov.uk/business/advice-information/hampshire-ambassadors.htm

Photo L-R – Hannah Payne from Hampshire County Council, Anne Aldridge Winchester City Mill Manager, Peter Coates-Buglear of NewNet plc, Jennifer Laing of Cresson Creative, Glenda Willis Assistant Manager of Winchester City Mill, Janet Ashfield from mpowerme and Heather Coates-Buglear of NewNet plc.

I have to admit that until I was nearly 23 I didn’t want (or even like) children, then one day in my early 20’s I turned into a desperate broody woman overnight, one who needed to have a baby NOW. How did that happen? No one was more surprised than I was. At 23 I gave birth to my son John but broody had not disappeared and 15 months later Rachel was born, I was content.

I hadn’t had a great education or career and being a mum was the most satisfying thing in the world to me in my 20’s. Sadly my marriage did not last and after the divorce, in my 30 ’s with the children at school, I set about studying for a degree and then re-entered the work force, climbing the career ladder whilst studying at the same time – at 40 I started my own business. Why do I tell you all this? because at 43 I became a granny – wonderful!

However despite having studied psychology, counselling, life coaching and NLP, having lived, made mistakes, learnt and grown, I often find myself thinking ‘if only I knew in my 20’s what I know now’!
I am not saying I was a bad parent, but as you might expect life experiences and studying means that I feel I could do it so much better now! Time gives us the opportunity to consider how our own parents brought us up and to make choices about what we would copy and what we would change.

So just what would I do differently? here are some top tips I learnt along the way:

1. Parenthood does not have to mean losing your individual identity. Don’t allow yourself to become ‘Lucy or Jacks ’ mum or dad, you have a name use it. It is very easy to lose yourself in parenthood, it does not last for ever and the time flies by and you wonder where it went.

2. Parenthood does not mean that you are now the sole carer for your child for the next 18 years. All children at all ages need experiences from a variety of people and situations (which of course are all vetted by you first). Give them the chance to grow and socialise, you cannot provide it all.

3. Allow your child to be an individual – not what you need them to be or what you were not. Your child is an individual let them be who they are, watch them develop as an individual and celebrate!

4. The best thing you can do for your child is be the best person you can be. If you are a tired or ratty parent, one who needs time out, one who would sooner be at work or not at work, one who is resenting their partner, one who never has enough time, one who cannot get to the gym, one who is worried about the numerous pressures of being a parent, find a resolution, there really are answers to the issues you have, sometimes you just can ’t see them, so phone a friend, ask around, get a different perspective.

5. At any one moment in time you can only be the best you are at that moment, there is no future, there is no past, just that moment. Wow! Quite a thought isn’t it? Take a minute to think how much time you spend worrying and fretting about the past or predicating the future and not living in the moment? Life can pass you by without you even noticing if you are always in a different place. Enjoy every present moment of your child growing and developing, you only get one chance.

I hope the above helps OR I hope the above gives you food for thought.

Janet Ashfield (BSc Hons) runs her own successful Life Coaching and Training company Mpowerme.
www.mpowerme.co.uk

Come and join us for a truly inspirational day out and give your whole life a makeover
at The All Woman Show on the 11th May 2008.

Mpowerme is 1 of  75 exhibitors from the worlds of Fashion, Health & Beauty, Fitness & Wellbeing, Home & Travel, etc you will be spoilt for choice.

Come and say hello to us at the Mpowerme stand.

Discover the Secrets of feeling and looking good!

 Visit the All Women Show website

Business Link is a nationwide self-help organisation offering action-focused information for small and medium businesses.

On the 30th April I will be doing a presentation to the Peer Group ‘Your business, your stress, top tips for survival’ at Sparsholt College Winchester.

If you are a small business and have not joined the Peer Group, do take a look at the Business link web site and see more about the benefits of networking, meeting like minded people, getting your company known and hopefully learning along the way too.

Like to know more?

The Women’s Networking Company -

Connecting Women in Business

The Women’s Networking Company have numerous network and premier business groups across the South.  I am pleased to say that I am hosting the new Petersfield Premier group.

Click here for more details.